Things NOT to say to someone with bipolar

The other night I went to my local emergency room for blackouts and possible seizures. I went because I was in the midst of a blackout. I had already seen my neurologist and had an EEG and MRI that showed “red flags. So since I was home I figured I would make a trip to the ER.

I proceed with the intake process as normal being treated with respect and my condition with concern. But then came the moment when I had to list all the medications I was on and why. “Um, I’m bipolar.” It was if I had told them I had the plague or some kind of wife beater. The staff’s demeanor made a one-eighty turn.

If you have bipolar, someone has said at least one of these things to you. Probably more. If you know someone who has the illness, you may guilty yourself. Hearing them can be painful, infuriating, depressing - even destructive. Saying them, I assure you, is NOT going to be helpful.

Commons myths of Bipolar

Bipolar disorder is a serious and difficult illness that affects all facets of a person’s life: their education, work, relationships, health and finances, said Julia A Fast, author of several bestselling books on bipolar disorder, including Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder and Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, and a coach who works with partners and families.

Fast was diagnosed with rapid-cycling bipolar disorder II at 31 years old in 1995, a time when very little was discussed regarding the diagnosis. Fortunately, knowledge and media coverage of bipolar disorder have improved dramatically over the years. “I’m astonished at how much more people know about the illness,” she said.

Looking back at my early childhood it is evident that I had bipolar, but it wasn’t until I was 24 that I was officially diagnosed and began my years of trial and error of medications.
Even TV shows are featuring more accurate portrayals of bipolar disorder. “In the past, people with bipolar disorder were practically frothing at the mouth,” Fast said. Today, writers and producers make it a point to get it right. Recently, Fast served as one of the advisors on the hit Show-time series “Homeland” and talked with Claire Danes about her character’s bipolar disorder.
While information has gotten much better, many misconceptions still exist and endure.
Below, you’ll find five persistent myths about bipolar disorder

1. Myth: Bipolar disorder and depression are completely different diagnoses.
Fact: Bipolar disorder and depression — also known as unipolar depression — are not completely different illnesses, according to Francis Mondimore, MD, associate clinical director of the Department of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins. In fact, he believes this is one of the most misunderstood ideas about bipolar disorder. (He blames psychiatrists for the misconception.)
Patients who believe this myth may oppose the diagnosis “if they don’t have the full-blown ‘medications-depressive’ picture and also resist taking “bipolar” medications like lithium,” said Dr. Mondimore, also author of Bipolar Disorder--A Guide to Family and Loved Ones.
It’s more accurate to think of bipolar disorder and depression as “probably represent[ing] two ends of a spectrum of illnesses,” he said. “The designation ‘bipolar II’ has helped crack this a bit, but this is why the term ‘bipolar spectrum disorder’ continues to gain ground,” he said.

2. Myth: People with bipolar disorder experience dramatic mood swings followed by complete remission of symptoms.
Fact: Some people with bipolar disorder experience this pattern, Mondimore said. (Lithium is typically very effective for these individuals, he said.) However, “Many patients have periods of residual symptoms and less severe but still significant mood fluctuations between episodes of more severe symptoms,” he said. This is especially common if people don’t engage in healthy habits to manage the illness.

3. Myth: Medication is the only treatment for bipolar disorder.
Fact: Medication is an important part of managing bipolar disorder. But it’s not the only answer. Viewing medication as your only treatment option “can lead to fruitless reaches for the ‘right’ medication,” Mondimore said. And it can lead you to avoid making valuable lifestyle changes and seeking therapy, he said.

As Fast writes on her website, “Medications take care of half of the illness, the other half is management.”

Both Fast and Mondimore stressed the importance of leading a healthy lifestyle, including avoiding alcohol and drugs, cultivating good sleep habits, exercising and effectively coping with stress.
Fast includes medication and alternative therapies as part of her treatment plan. Still, she cautioned against thinking “that we can exercise, diet, meditate, walk and rethink our way out of this illness.” (In fact, this is another big myth that persists, Fast said.)
Think of bipolar disorder like any other long-term illness, such as diabetes and high blood pressure, Mondimore said: It requires commitment and comprehensive management.

4. Myth: After having a severe episode, people with bipolar disorder should be able to bounce back.
Fact: If a person with bipolar disorder experiences a severe episode — one that requires hospitalization, for instance — there’s an expectation that afterward they’ll be able to get back to their work and life, Fast said. However, she equated this scenario to people who’ve been in a car crash. You wouldn’t expect someone with broken bones simply to get up and start sprinting.

5. Myth: People with bipolar disorder aren’t trying hard enough.
Fact: People wonder why someone with bipolar disorder just doesn’t try harder. They think that if they exert more effort, they’d have the life they want. They wonder why everyone else who experiences mood swings can cope with them but someone with bipolar disorder can’t. Sometimes Fast has even wondered the same thing about herself.

But this implies that bipolar disorder is a choice, she said. “Would you ever say that to someone with diabetes or pneumonia?” she said.
People just don’t realize how serious bipolar disorder is, Fast said. Thankfully, though serious, it’s highly treatable. Managing the illness is hard work, and finding the right medication takes time. But as Fast said, “Keep trying. Never give up.”

The Perils of Mania

He who gives a book gives more than cloth,

Paper and ink. He gives more than leather, parchment, and words.

He reveals foreword of this thoughts, a dedication of his friendship,

A page of his presence, a chapter of himself,  

an index of his of love.

There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in the kind of madness that plagues one with bipolar. When you’re high it tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and too frequent like shooting stars. You follow them until you find bigger, better, and brighter things.

Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, they power to captivate others are certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensually is pervasive and the desire to seduce is irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence and euphoria pervades ones bones.

But then, somewhere it all comes crashing down. These changes. The fast ideas are far too fast and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against you is irritable, angry.

Frightened, uncontrollable and enmeshed totally in the blackest cave of the mind. Caves you never knew were there. It goes on and on and finally there is only the recollections of your behavior….your bizarre, frantic, aimless behavior….for mania has the grace of partially obliterating memories.

Truth is not enough

Wish I had learned an invaluable lesson years ago. I'm trying to learn it now but I've always proven to be too hard headed. Too stubborn. The irony is that I've always fooled myself into thinking that I was the one taking charge.

Lately I have been having hard time dealing with my bipolar. I'm not referring to its symptoms, but the coping and dealing. I cycle so unpredictably. It gets the best of me and it is wearing me out. I'm tired from it mentally, physically and even spiritually. It's exhausting. What's worse is that it seems to worsen with each episode.

Scripture says that the truth will set us free. It seems to me not applying everything  of this wisdom from life's lessons learned is enough. I knew the truth years ago that whatever we focus on we become. It's the truth. But it hasn't set me free.

Do we all not know that E=Mc²? It's a fact. It's the truth. Now can you pass an advanced physics class and explain the concepts of mass-energy equivalences? Just knowing a truth is not enough.

Consequences, Dominoes, & Chains

Everything in life has consequences. Some good. Some bad. Consequences are like dominoes. Chain reactions. One leads to another and one never stands alone.

I am no stranger to consequences. They are just part of the package that comes along with being bipolar.

As of yesterday I am now a felon. Sometimes the law is too black and white. At least that's my opinion. Opening a door and sitting down in the front the seat of a stranger's car while in a psychosis will obviously still get you deemed guilty of burglary. There's going to be consequences.

My recent job loss has left me seeking employment at the same time I was found guilty. Though not impossible, but finding a job will be much harder. Most companies run background checks today. Domino effect.

The longer it takes for me to find a job the longer a financial strain it puts on my family. Domino effect. All from the beginning consequence of a bipolar psychosis.

Consequences; we all know what it means. It's defined as, the effect, result, or outcome of something occurring earlier.

You're a scary mental case

Every one of us has a story to tell. It's taken a lifetime to write, and has more characters, plot lines, and twists than any other book written. Our stories are complex, and when someone asks us to tell it, we often don't even know where to start.

So why is that, when we see someone with a certain style of clothes, or type of car, even address?? And why do some fear or shun those that aren't different on the outside, but on the inside? We think we can sum their story up into one tidy statement?

            They're poor. She's trashy. He's a scary psycho.

If there is one thing I know about it is stigma and judgment. Flat out discrimination. Not because I do it. But I've been burned by its cruelty far too many times. And I have seen it happen for years on almost a daily basis to others for petty things like just the way someone is dressed.