How do you know when to let go

How do you know it is time to let go? In one sentence:

            When you feel any kind of unpleasantness or discomfort.

You can consider unpleasantness or discomfort a clear sign that it is time to let go.

And I'm no stranger to letting go. Letting go has become a common practice of mine. Probably too much of a common practice that it leaves me unable to get close to others. Letting go has no longer become a problem for me.

But for some letting go is heartbreaking. And in some situations it's completely understandable. Not all things are equal to let go.

By letting go, we actually allow more of the mystery of life to come in for us.-- Leslie K. Lobell, M.A.

Letting go. It's difficult for us in so many ways and on so many levels. Yet life calls us up to do it, over and over again. Letting go is part of our growth process. We cannot move on to the new while continuing to cling to the old. For some we let go for their sake and not for ours. And why doesn't it feel like a learning process?

For some of us, we must let go of a past relationship. Or even a current relationship. Or just lesson the relationship. Maybe the relationship was not meant to be: perhaps it was hurtful to us, or perhaps it was hindering the personal or spiritual growth of one or both.  Perhaps we have no problems leaving the person behind, but we continue to harbor animosity. 

Truth is not enough

Wish I had learned an invaluable lesson years ago. I'm trying to learn it now but I've always proven to be too hard headed. Too stubborn. The irony is that I've always fooled myself into thinking that I was the one taking charge.

Lately I have been having hard time dealing with my bipolar. I'm not referring to its symptoms, but the coping and dealing. I cycle so unpredictably. It gets the best of me and it is wearing me out. I'm tired from it mentally, physically and even spiritually. It's exhausting. What's worse is that it seems to worsen with each episode.

Scripture says that the truth will set us free. It seems to me not applying everything  of this wisdom from life's lessons learned is enough. I knew the truth years ago that whatever we focus on we become. It's the truth. But it hasn't set me free.

Do we all not know that E=Mc²? It's a fact. It's the truth. Now can you pass an advanced physics class and explain the concepts of mass-energy equivalences? Just knowing a truth is not enough.

I am all powerful

When I was in recovery for alcohol addiction we learned about powerlessness.

I was ordered into outpatient rehab and was required to attend 12-step meetings. I have never been fond of A.A. for various reasons so I requested to attend Celebrate Recovery. Besides, I had attended A.A. in the past and it did nothing for me. Nor did I agree with its philosophy.

What I wanted and knew I needed was a Biblically based 12-step program.

We all face hateful destinations that we are powerless to escape. The first step in recovery was accepting we were powerless. Powerless not just over addictions but also over any tendency to anything wrong (Romans 7:18).

Failure to do so leaves us in danger of denying the enormity of the things which we do not have power to change and become locked into "fantasy" or "magical" thinking that given enough time, energy and resources we can succeed in changing them.

The gift of pain

"Pain is a priceless essential gift - of that I have no doubt. And yet only by learning to master pain can we keep it from mastering us."  Dr. Paul Brand

There's a different world than the one we live in now, and sometimes I feel its breath rush against my skin. But sometimes, I bump against darkness. Ironically pain reminds me I'm alive and how much I love.

Few experiences in life are more universal than pain. Some pains, the pain of grief or emotional trauma, have no physical stimulus whatsoever. They are states of the mind, concocted by the alchemy of the brain. These feats of consciousness make it possible for suffering to loiter in the mind long after the body's need for it has passed.

We hold onto it until it becomes comfortable.

Some emotional pain will leave us with time. Some will leave if we decide to let it go. There are times, though, when we must live with emotional pain; either because we haven't had sufficient time to heal or because we are not able, willing, and/or ready to let go.

Yet they also give us the potential to attain an outlook that will change the very landscape of the pain experience. We can learn to cope, and even triumph. It's our choice.

"If I were to choose between pain and nothing, I would choose pain." -- William Faulkner

I know what it's like to feel nothing. Its depths are far deeper than any pain.

There is fresh emotional pain, and there is the variety that lingers in varying degrees, sometimes in the form of emotional scarring but sometimes simply in the form of persistent inability to feel truly unhappy.

I rarely feel grateful for the fact of pain, but I almost always feel grateful for the message that it brings. I can count on pain to represent my best interests in the most urgent way available. It is then up to me to act on those recommendations.

Broken places heal back stronger and rarely ever break in that place again. No one would choose to go through pain, but no one would deny that's when you have the opportunity to learn the most.

Consequences, Dominoes, & Chains

Everything in life has consequences. Some good. Some bad. Consequences are like dominoes. Chain reactions. One leads to another and one never stands alone.

I am no stranger to consequences. They are just part of the package that comes along with being bipolar.

As of yesterday I am now a felon. Sometimes the law is too black and white. At least that's my opinion. Opening a door and sitting down in the front the seat of a stranger's car while in a psychosis will obviously still get you deemed guilty of burglary. There's going to be consequences.

My recent job loss has left me seeking employment at the same time I was found guilty. Though not impossible, but finding a job will be much harder. Most companies run background checks today. Domino effect.

The longer it takes for me to find a job the longer a financial strain it puts on my family. Domino effect. All from the beginning consequence of a bipolar psychosis.

Consequences; we all know what it means. It's defined as, the effect, result, or outcome of something occurring earlier.