Thursday, December 16, 2010

Caution: Street Signs Out of Order

When it comes to making decisions in life there are a number of analogies used to describe the dilemma. There’s only one place I know where it’s possible for confusion and dis-satisfaction to co-exist with a place where the possibilities are not only endless but exciting as well. It is such a sound and fitting analogy Christ took advantage of it on more than one occasion. (But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and a few find it—Matt 7:14; 13:4,19; Mar 4:4,15; Luke 1:79; 8:8,12)

I’m at my own crossroads in my life right now. I’m conflicted with what to do about school and which career or even whether or not to complete my graduate degree. Ever since Christ cleaned my act up and put me back together I handed my will over to him. I stopped pursuing my plans for my life. I did however enroll back in school. It was just something I had been doing and since I had to withdraw enrolled for the Fall. However, no classes were offered in my field that I , but Ihadn’t already taken so I enrolled in a couple of counseling classes that I thought would be interesting. I wonder if that should be my first clue? During the semester I kept trying to figure out how I was going to complete the requirements for my degree because of my “record” that I had incurred during my last two years of drinking.

When Spring enrollment time arrived I was limited again with classes. I only lack three not  counting the internship which I cannot do in this town. Of the three classes I was only able to enroll in one. One isn’t offered again Spring 2012 and another is full and I can’t get signed in. Before I did get enrolled in the one class there was a hold on my enrollment. I had put off taking the GRE way too long. That was my fault, but I got it done.

But since sometime in the Fall semester I haven’t felt at peace with pursuing school psychology. My wife says she doesn’t even feel it fits me even though I’m good at it. She does feel the other program, counseling psychology, is more suited for me. To tell you the truth so do I. However, it requires the same classes. It does require a few more different that I can go ahead and take with a possibility of taking longer to graduate.
So what’s the ramifications if I switch? We plan on moving as soon as I graduate and if it takes longer then that will be affected. The state paid for part of my education in the school psychology department and as an agreement I have to teach special ed for two years. I’m not sure what the procedures are if you don’t graduate with a degree in school psychology.
Although, I do think the counseling psychology would be more beneficial to my Parkinson’s than would being a school psychologist.

A crossroad is defined as: 1. a road that intersects another road; 2. a place where two or more roads meet, a place that is centrally located, a crucial point; Synonym at Crisis.
Sooner or later we all face some kind of crossroad in our lives that requires a decision to make, whether it’s relational, career, education, location, etc. Even not making a choice is making a decision. Because let’s face it, standing in the middle of a crossroad is scary. Nobody likes crossroads. They’re unpredictable, uncertain. It’s not easy walking into the unknown.

If our crossroads has to deal with making a decision for personal growth then we’re require to take a closer look at some experiences in our lives. Possibly some experiences we have tried to put behind us. But taking a good look at “where we have been” as one of the areas of our lives we need to reflect on before we can move forward. This can be done with great reluctance. After all, if I’ve been living free from the past why break out of this comfort zone and risk returning to where Christ brought me out of?

“Where am I going?” This is the ultimate question. Even if I stand still and decide not to move I am still going in a direction. It comes down to decision time, hopefully after much prayer. Deciding to step out and break from my norm is scary. What if it means walking away from a well thought out plan? A plan I had in place for a quite some time that had become very comfortable. It’s not that easy. There’s a fear and concern of throwing away and wasting years of effort and resources. Not to mention disappointing others.
Almost 100% of the time this is a two-fold question. I could ask myself using the example, “If I take this new job in this other city, where will my relationship with Christ go?”
While standing in the center of my own crossroads right now, I want nothing more than to be influenced by own goals pertaining to God, myself and my family.

My goal is to always put God first in all that I do.
My goal is to learn to recognize the difference between what I want and what I need.
My goal is to lead my family by “example” in the lifestyle that God desires for me.

Every crossroad we encounter requires us to face, “where we have been and where we are going”…this leads to the all important question…”How will we get there?”

God said, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

“I can’t,” and no, we can’t. But God can. There are 44 counts of the phrase “But God” in the Bible beginning with Genesis 8:1 and ending with 1 Th 4:8 recording His supernatural actions we are incapable of. “But God” did this, “But God” did that. It is with diligent prayer that we seek this plan for our life. Then knowing the right answer is easier.

Being in the midst of a crossroad seems more like a trial than anything. Like a battle. But the crossroad is a blessing. It’s a challenge to get to get closer to God and get to know the personal plans he personally has for us. It’s having comfort and security knowing that God is personally pursuing you. You wish someone would just come along so you could hitch a ride to the right destination. But it doesn’t work that way. We should do well to remember that nothing comes into the life of a believer that is not first sifted through the will of God. Job 1:12; 2:6 When we prayerfully make our decision at the crossroads to follow what God is leading us to do, we find fulfillment of God’s plan in our life when we chose to follow his path and realize what we would’ve missed out on had we decided not step out in faith and move. But then again even not moving is better than a U-turn.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Where my inspiration comes from

A Recycled-Dad with Bipolar & Parkinson's, reflections on fathering and family life and other stuff thrown in'll love my Soap Box Rants

Blog with Integrity\\ Auhor Lupe Picazo

Why I call myself a Recycled Dad

I call myself a Recycled Dad because of the struggles with remarriage and being a step-parent and weekend dad. This is also about my life living with bipolar and how it affects me personally, my family and my job. It also reflects on the grace God has poured out on me throughout recovery from alcohol and an eating disorder. Recycled Dad is about my reflections on the wisdom God teaches daily on fatherhood and being a better husband in spite of being bipolar.

Please feel free to leave comments. I welcome them