Thursday, April 21, 2011

Stupid Articles and their Stupid Titles for Stupid Parents

I wouldn't consider this one of my rants, but I came across a collection of numerous articles I found both ridiculous and absurd making them quite humorous. Some were flat out moronic. I thought to myself, "are they serious? They actually think they are being informative?"

What's worse, they are about parenthood. Ok, now that I think about this it will sound be more of a rant from my soap box. I don't like to write what seems so negative of a content so close together because negative is not what I am. But if there are two things that really get on my nerves and infuriate me, this collection of articles captured them with grace. No wait, come to think of it there's three things in this collection that infuriate me.

As mentioned it's a collection of articles about parenthood and children. Many of, if not most of, the articles are written by journalists who have no children nor expertise in child rearing. Hello!! "Yes, and while you're helping with my 4yr old who still isn't potty trained will you help me understand why E=mc2?"   I know blogging and online journaling can fun and so can being informative, but giving someone a spot in an online magazine or journal doesn't make them an expert in any field....well, unless they were already and expert in that field.

Oh , and the content of the information couldn't have more worthless. It seems today's parents have become more and more complacent that they find the most useless information useful and informative. You'll see what I mean.

And lastly, probably the most dangerous, parents today take advice from anybody. Parents today truly have become complacent. For years professionals have warned about parents replacing themselves with the TV or after school programs or extracurricular activities and how it has been having negative effects on not only the children but also the parents andn society.  These are actual articles and I find them both comical and sad. Sad in light of the fact that they represent our current parent's ability to think for themselves. After all the audience was there.

Did you know currently the United Nations is working on taking away the rights of parents? Because of parent's complacency internationally The United Nations' Convention on the Rights of the Child is at work to put  children in charge of making their own decisions.  If passed any US law will be subject to every UN law providing a child with more rights than their parent. I'll explain later what this has to do with these articles. But for now here's article one.

Family nudity: Yes or No?

WHAT THE???  Hey, I say go for it. Let it all hang out. If you want Child Protective Services called on you for pedophilia incest, you sick pup! It goes on to rationalize it by explaining we shouldn't be ashamed of our bodies, and that being naked isn't a taboo. We shouldn't run around naked but be more natural and acceptable. And we are instilling shame and embarrassment in our children by making them feel bad for being naked. That's funny, don't parents these days have a struggle making their kids put more clothes on? And aren't more than 60% of our entertainers going around half naked? Isn't sexual content running rampant in our movies and tv? I don't think our society is embarrassed. Oh but luckily the author threw in there the advice nudity is not appropriate around company. Wheww! That would've awkward.

Would You Call Your Baby Boy a 'Boob Man'?

I wouldn't even call myself something like this. But it's referring to those baby onesies that have "I am a Boob Man!" printed across the front. There were some positive and some negative comments by women to the onesie in the article. Mostly negative. I wonder who came up the promotion for the breast cancer awareness slogan, "I Love Boobies." Was it a woman? Yes, yes it was. I think I smell double standard.

After-school activities: How much is too much?

Do you parents really need a 5 point guide to figure out how much is too much for your child? If that's the case, you need to take your child(ren) out of that/those activities and get your priorities straight. When you see your child collapse from exhaustion and you can't pay your electric bill because you just dished out more money for dues or you missed their last birthday, then you know it's too much.

4 Fast, Healthy Breakfasts for Kids--and Parents--On the Go

Either the title is misleading or some idiot put the wrong title on the wrong article in editing. Right under the title was a big photo of a stack of pancakes sprinkled with powdered sugar and drizzled with syrup. Opening the article I discover it is a photo of Oatmeal-cookie pancakes with ingredients such as brown sugar, and of course the syrup which is pure sugar. When you have a desert snack as one of the ingredients you can pretty much bet your meal is not healthy. I guess their idea of "healthy" isn't the same as my idea of "healthy."

Should kids be wearing real makeup and push-up bras?

It's not so much that they brought this issue up because it has gotten a lot of it within the last couple of months. What really irks me is the way they address the topic. "Should or shouldn't" was the argument referring to ages from 7 to 12. Their pros and cons for the make up: it teaches little girls how do the job right by the time they grow and also teaches them to be shallow and insecure. Well, at least they'll look good while they wallow in self-loathing. Plus, I've never worn make up, and I'm no expert, but surely it can't take around 4yrs to learn how to do your face. Unless, you're a rodeo clown maybe. You want to get it it just right.

What about those push-up bras? Are you serious? If you haven't heard about this, it is the real deal. Push-ups for little girls as young as 7. First of all, "push-up" means just that. It would have to push something up that's already there. But there's not! I think it's actually pretty sick if you ask me. It all makes me think of any of those little girls you see dressed up as Dolly Parton on Halloween. I'm sure you've seen them. They are actually quite funny. The author shot at the manufacturer, but I think they just knew who to target. Which makes me think, why is it you see so many little girls envious and mimicking older women or their mothers when it comes to the breast, but yet you never see little boys mimicking their fathers in the same manner? I can't count how many times I've seen little girls stuff their shirts with balloons or balls or something else and play around like a big girl. I've never seen a little boy stuff a banana down his pants and strut around. Maybe that's why products don't target little boys like they do little girls. Otherwise I think maybe we'd seen "enhanced" Speedos for tiny tots by now.

This is another major difference you see between boys and girls. Moms start at a very early age with their daughters primping them and grooming them. Dads don't do this with their little boys.

Top 9 reasons kids cheat

After a slew of non-important statistics that I've already forgotten and could look up by myself on the internet, this author proceeded to inform me of the very SAME REASONS WHY EVERYONE ELSE CHEATED when I was in high school 20 years ago!  (This one has a masters in Ed.D.)

Boys with nail polish: so not a big deal

If you don't know what this one is about then you are living in a cave or something. A controversial stir brewed up with an ad of a mom giggling with her 4yr old son while painting his toe nails pink. I beg to differ it wasn't a big deal. It was a big deal because this nation made it a big deal. And sadly, those who commented on this article that were in favor missed the message of those that were not in favor of it. The problem is that with a hypocritical message they bash their disagreeing nay sayers. I'm all for free speech. I'm writing what I want to say right now. Those that want to say it's not a big deal are apparently naive. The ad in itself sent out a bigger message other than a little boy getting his toe nails painted. 

To Co-Sleep or Not to Co-Sleep, that is the question

This is one those topics where there are thousands upon thousands of research evidence that prove not to co-sleep is superior to a child development...not to mention a parent's peace of mind. However, it doesn't matter how much you discuss this topic with a parent what it really boils down to them is what "they want." An article full of excuses and whipped parents. Should be titled, "Diary of a Wimpy Parent"

Is your tween sexting?

Surely I don't have to explain what sexting means. But hey parents I was handed down this brilliant idea that works in my house that my own mother taught me. Her mother and father taught her and I would guess I would be right to say that their parents taught them this concept too. Of course it doesn't have to do with "sexting" literally, but you can apply to any situation. The article has the gall to say the parent doesn't know anything about the phone and to just trust your tween/teen and take precautionary measures. Can a parent can get any weaker? Here's how it goes: most likely YOU can set up online accounts to view text messages, if at least each incoming/outgoing message. Then YOU/PARENT/BOSS/ONE IN CHARGE take the phone that YOU/PARENT/BOSS/ONE IN CHARGE pay/financed for from YOUR/PARENT child that you ALLOW to BORROW. There, see how that works?

The following are titles of articles that really had no business being articles, they just filled a screen with words of crap:
Followed by my thoughts of what I would've said...

Homebirth: What If Something Goes Wrong?
I'm not a doctor nor have I have played one on TV, but my first thought would be to call 911!! And when you're done with the phone hand it to me so I can call Child Protective Services for endangering the life of a child before it was even born you idiots!!

When can we expect a royal baby?
Considering we are a democracy, and do not have a king or a queen, never. You idiot! You been watching too many Disney movies.

Puppy or Baby?
If all it takes for you are the contents of a few paragraphs of an online article to decide whether or not to have a baby or get a puppy...go with a houseplant....a fake one.

Kids love Easter and we have the proof!
I only hope your evidence is as sound as the rest I have found in your previous material because I heard belief in the Easter Bunny has been dwindling.

Why don't schools serve water to students during lunch?
Maybe the same reason why they don't take their coats at the door. Or maybe the wait staff got pissed from constantly being stiffed by students and walked out of the cafeteria. There's a freaking water fountain around every corner. How about you pick up the phone and call your school district considering I have no idea who you are or where you live? Or is the phone too difficult for you to use?

Date night: why parents need a night out
I don't need an article by a non-parent to tell me why I need a night out. Considering I can't even take a pee without one child knocking on the door followed by the words of, "daddy can I....." Trust me. I already know.

Not all articles were bad or of nonsense. One in particular, How do you tell if you're a good parent? was a rather good one. Although I do think the title is a little harsh implying that one has not been a good parent. With positive information such as acting with love whether in hugs or reprimand to apologizing for mistakes along with reminding that multiple methods can solve the same issue for different members of the family this article seemed to redeem this online magazine's stab at parental advice. I especially liked it's sections about trusting your instincts and ignoring nay sayers. Kind of a double standard here though I think when you look back at all the other articles. But I give props to this article.

I may do a blog devoted to this topic alone. Parents today have seemed to have lost touch with their with their instincts and listen far too much to external sources. And in their defense I do not blame them for fear of external repercussions.

That's how all this relates to the parental rights issue. Parents keep becoming more and more complacent so the courts keep taking. Parents hand over their responsibilities. Complacent parents makes for idiotic articles.

Wake up parents. Be a parent. Educate yourself. And don't be intimidated.


  1. Wow - you're so brave ;D Great rant and you made good points too. Some people do talk such crap under the guise of 'informing' others. I'm not a parent so I won't go into specifics on that subject though. ;D Shah .X

  2. LOL!That one about "Puppy or Baby"...hilarious!! I agree totally....reminds me of times when someone was giving me parenting advice and they didnt have any kids....

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Where my inspiration comes from

A Recycled-Dad with Bipolar & Parkinson's, reflections on fathering and family life and other stuff thrown in'll love my Soap Box Rants

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Why I call myself a Recycled Dad

I call myself a Recycled Dad because of the struggles with remarriage and being a step-parent and weekend dad. This is also about my life living with bipolar and how it affects me personally, my family and my job. It also reflects on the grace God has poured out on me throughout recovery from alcohol and an eating disorder. Recycled Dad is about my reflections on the wisdom God teaches daily on fatherhood and being a better husband in spite of being bipolar.

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