Tuesday, April 12, 2011

My Eating Disorder series coming soon....

One evening after talking about my journaling and writing, someone made the comment to me, "I don't know if I could ever write. I'd be afraid someone would read it. And I don't think I can tell anyone about my past. I'd be embarrassed." To which I responded, "The way I see it I wasn't embarrassed being drunk everywhere I went in public.  I didn't care what people what people thought about my drinking. Nor did I care what people thought about me not eating. So the last the thing I should be embarrassed of is telling where God brought me from."

I want to tell you a story. My story. My eating disorder story. Even though my eating disorder was birthed as a result of the false child abuse allegations and custody disputes I feel it doesn't really fit with the nature of the blog as a whole.

However, I still want to write my story and encourage others, but I don't feel I have the time to devote to another blog. 

I'm not sure why I want to actually write about eating disorder. For myself? For other sufferers? For their families? For God? I had previously thought about writing a book, but had come to the conclusion that my heart is just not into it. (I am writing on another)

Maybe I'm looking for closure. Maybe I'm sensing this urge God is wanting me to do. I started recovery over a year ago which a hard process. I didn't go inpatient. I'd been seeing a counselor and continued but we didn't focus on it. My main source of recovery was my renewed relationship with Christ and Celebrate Recovery.

I am probably one of the most unlikeliest person's who could've developed anorexia. I know it threw me by surprise. But I did. And in spite of the many things going on I continue to find myself motivated to write about it.  It's my hope to post at least one posting a week about my own eating disorder or something on the topic of ED.

At the worst time of my eating disorder, a little over two years I penned these words in a poem I wrote about Ana (anorexia)...

"She enjoys it, she laughs
 Each time my insides die
 I can't see past her temptations
 I live on her every single lie
 As each day passes
 I become hooked more and more on her
 She's my drug, my addiction
 I'm her weakness, I meet the floor"

Regardless of why feel so compelled to my story, I invite you, and hope you invite others to embark with me, because I more than welcome any comments and interactions, on this. It is my personal story. A story of healing from anorexia and it's process. A story of renewed relationship, with loved ones, and with God.
So please sign up to follow.

1 comment:

  1. Hi - Just popped by and left a comment on your eating disorder blog - I followed both. Found you because you're following me. Many thanks for that. I'm bipolar too and split my blog between creation and mental health, although such subjects often cross over. Shah from X



Where my inspiration comes from

A Recycled-Dad with Bipolar & Parkinson's, reflections on fathering and family life and other stuff thrown in'll love my Soap Box Rants

Blog with Integrity\\ Auhor Lupe Picazo

Why I call myself a Recycled Dad

I call myself a Recycled Dad because of the struggles with remarriage and being a step-parent and weekend dad. This is also about my life living with bipolar and how it affects me personally, my family and my job. It also reflects on the grace God has poured out on me throughout recovery from alcohol and an eating disorder. Recycled Dad is about my reflections on the wisdom God teaches daily on fatherhood and being a better husband in spite of being bipolar.

Please feel free to leave comments. I welcome them