Thanksgiving of desperation

I’ve been mulling over two components lately; prayer and wisdom. Many times I find myself praying for wisdom or even contemplating the notion it’s in our wisdom that God hears us.

I’ve been out of work for a while and finding work is no easy task in my town. I’ve spent much of my kids lives before they went to school as a stay-at-home-dad so I’m no stranger to staying home. But now I’m alone in the house.

You may wonder what does this have to do with prayer and wisdom and praying for wisdom. By no means am “super-spiritual” but I try to spend much of my time conversing with God. Unfortunately, much of that time I question if He hears me. I know logically I He does, but feeling it is a different story.

Ever take anything for granted? Surely. Surely I have. And it’s how I feel about the wisdom God imparts upon me daily. I lost my job in March due to my disability. I’m handling that and that’s a different story to tell. But in the mean time it’s like Murphy’s law has sprung wide open on us. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. I need to work and I have filled out numerous applications but my illness is actually preventing me from working.

So I seek God’s wisdom. Prayers for His wisdom. Wisdom makes the difference. “Know also that wisdom is sweet to your soul; if you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off” Proverb 24:14

Many times we feel hopeless because we don’t know what to do next. When we add to that the sense that maybe nothing can be done, things do indeed seem hopeless. And the way we look at things creates the way we feel about things.

Wisdom and Truth come from God.

The first place we need to look for wisdom is directly from God himself. When we’re trouble or faced with a situation in which we do not know what to do, we can ask God. He will give us the wisdom we need. Consider……

Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete. Not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who give generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 2-5

I’m still in a position I pray for God’s wisdom more than once a day. I need His wisdom to lead my family, because quite frankly, right now I don’t feel like a leader. I seek His wisdom on how to love my wife in time of trouble and show her reassurance. I seek His wisdom on how to handle and raise my children, especially my daughter who lives with me 99% of the time and my other three who only live with me a third of the time. I see God’s wisdoms for my own life and my own decisions….my own vulnerabilities.

I see God’s wisdom as something not to take for granted. Some of us learn contentment when job losses alter our family dynamics. Let’s face it. Living paycheck to paycheck can be scary. I’ve given God the “I can’t do this!” ultimatum more than once. At times, I’ve had a matching complaint for every prayer request on my list.

But I’ve also celebrated the marvelous adventure of moment-by-moment dependence on Christ’s resources. His wisdom. I’ve tested God’s faithfulness in my prayers and my pantry. And I’ve discovered my Father’s plan for my life is never limited by the balance of my bank account.

Less money doesn’t mean fewer blessings. Less money doesn’t equal less joy. But prayerlessness does. That’s why we pray on.

(FYI; after much faithful prayer God opened a door for me for a job yesterday)