Part 2; What marriage has taught me: My marriage and family are my first ministry

I have been so busy lately that I have not been able to give attention to the part 2 of this series. I've received a new position at my place of employment. I have been focused on school as the semester winds down. I've tried to maintain consistent involvement with Celebrate Recovery. And there are the issues in my home; a son transitioning from a tween to a teen, dealing with a daughter with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Much of the time that I am able to give to myself alone consists of attempts at gathering my thoughts and catching my breath for the next responsibility. 

I'm at a crossroads today. As this semester winds down I find the drive for my desire to finish school and pursue a career in the field of psychology has dwindled to down to nothing. I even find myself apathetic to the work and even the idea of graduating. Yet I have no idea what to pursue for my future. God says He has plans for me. "Plans to prosper and not for harm. So should I worry about my future?"

We all know the cliché, "Parenting is the hardest job you'll ever do."

I can't just sit back and expect God to handle everything. Of course not. I do have my part to fulfill. And at the same time I must still focus on the here and now and not lose sight of my main calling, what God has called me to do. My first and most important responsibility. That is the calling of my first ministry. My marriage. My wife. My children. Far too often this responsibility goes overlooked in spite of the fact it is something I worry about on a daily basis.

Part 1; What marriage has taught me: The strength of my weaknesses

My wife brings out the worst in me. She exposes all my flaws for what they are. More accurately, I have learned to embrace my weaknesses within our marriage. Yesterday was our five year anniversary. The fact that we made it this far is nothing short of a miracle. More than half of our marriage we faced some of the most hellish attacks and trials. In addition to the struggles of blending our family and excess baggage from our previous marriage, we faced and dealt with parental alienation with our children from both of our ex-spouses, custody battles, my bipolar with alcoholism and anorexia along with the progress of my Parkinson's, jail time, hospitalizations and suicide attempts.

The attacks from our ex-spouses brought out the worst in me. Better yet, the weaknesses within me surfaced. The baggage I carried from my previous marriage showed their presence and dominated both my emotions and behaviors. Many times they became too heavy to bear.

Of all the things for a spouse to bring out of us, the last things we want them to be are our weaknesses. They are painful. They are embarrassing. They are our faults and the last things we want exposed let alone face and deal with.

Paul wrote, "But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base of the world and the despised God has chosen..." 1 Cor. 1:27-28

REPOST: Did I Miss Christ This Christmas?

The following is a repost. I originally posted this last year (2010) on Christmas Day. I wrote it because of the let down the holidays have become to me. Almost in disgust. Not that I think they are about me or even for me. But as a society we have come to make the holidays about ourselves. I wanted to repost it and make it available before we have a chance to get caught up in the holiday hustle and bustle. These were thoughts last year.

I see Christmas through the world’s eye....

Did I miss Christ this Christmas

I have to confess; I don’t know if this is a rant or more of a profession of confusion out of desperation. There are things weighing heavily on my mind and in my heart. Maybe, hopefully there will be cohesion within these words rather than them winding up being some kind of mixed up hodgepodge that doesn’t make sense. I’m liable to step on some toes. Sometimes I have a knack for rubbing people the wrong way. Usually it’s those that are reluctant to slide out of their comfort zone. But I’ve never been one to not speak what I have to say as long as it’s worth saying and that maybe something will come out of it.

What is irony? Thanksgiving and Black Friday, that's irony!

Thanksgiving is over and Black Friday officially began five hours ago at midnight. Black Friday has seemed to become a holiday in and of its own bigger than Thanksgiving. All you hear the day before Thanksgiving and the day of is talk of Black Friday...oh the deals! You can almost see the sparkles in their eyes. You can almost see the hope they carry for that possible deal that could make their shopping experience worthwhile. The excitement is almost contagious.